I am sure you have found yourself thinking, or even yelling out loud, “How could they possibly do that!”

Find a place where you won’t be disturbed. Sit in a chair and face another chair. Imagine that the other person is sitting in the other chair and start telling them why you find them so troublesome. Then move to the other chair and answer back, as the other person. Then back again to the first chair and reply. Then back to the other chair and reply, and so on, moving every time you pause for thought.

Keep going – however long it takes and however many times you find you need to change chairs – until you get some kind of resolution or way forward.

This is using a perceptual positions model which you can find out about here.

The empty chair technique uses the first and second positions only. You could add the third position by stepping off to one side every few chair swaps and being an observer; tell the two people having the ‘conversation’ what you see from the outside. You can also use the third position to inject new information if the ‘conversation’ goes into a loop.

My best wishes, Paul


By Paul Matthews – Speaker/Author/Expert on Informal Learning and Workforce Capability
Author of bestsellers “Capability at Work: How to Solve the Performance Puzzle
and “Informal Learning at Work: How to Boost Performance in Tough Times
Connect with Paul on LinkedIn