In many ways, those who were not holding the stick had a greater responsibility.

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Stephen Covey.

So how do you listen?

Do you listen with the desire to get hold of the Talking Stick as soon as you can?

Here are some simple questions to prompt your thinking about how you listen…

And if you skim through them without seeking to understand or answer them, you just proved something to yourself about how you ‘listen’

My best wishes, Paul
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Notice that the experience in and of itself is not good or bad until we decide which it is for us.

You may have heard this quote from Shakespeare’s Hamlet; “there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”

When we extract meaning from an experience, we use it to confirm our current beliefs about us, about others, or how the world works. (‘That always happens!’ … Does it really?)

If you are not getting what you want, confirming your current beliefs will just keep you not getting what you want.

So look at experiences you have had, like missing the train, or having an argument, or getting praised for a good job, and notice what meanings you extracted.

It’s your choice to accept those meanings as true, or wonder what other meanings could be true instead, and thus challenge your beliefs and open the door to change.

You don’t have to go through the door, but it’s nice to have the option

This sort of thinking plays a major role in our levels of stress, so if you have stress in your life, have a look at the beliefs behind stress, and what you can do about them.

My best wishes, Paul
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I was reminded of this last week when a friend of mine said he was really struggling to keep up at work. He has dyslexia, and he finds trouble with reading and writing; things that many of us do easily without a second thought.

Who do you know who has dyslexia?

Would you like to help them?

99% of those people who struggle with poor literacy have never learnt to visualise words. Those who are good at literacy use this skill all the time, in a split second for reading, writing or typing. They can just ‘see’ words in their memory.

And this skill can be learnt – in minutes not months – and it is a skill for life. It is a skill that nobody teaches in school and the kids you thought were so clever somehow picked it up naturally.

If you struggle with dyslexia, or you know someone who does, go to this page in Alchemy on improving your visualisation skills, then read the rest of the Dyslexia topic. This is a new and very successful method for reducing dyslexia symptoms. By the way, it helps improve memory as well

My best wishes, Paul
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So many fail to carry them out.

Why?

Think of a goal you have. Maybe a New Year resolution, or it may be a target you need to meet at work, or any other goal you are setting out to achieve.

As you think of the goal, notice how you feel. Notice what the self-talk in your head is saying. Notice if you are tensed up or relaxed.

Now… If you were going to hire somebody to achieve that goal, would you hire yourself as you are right now?

If the answer is yes, then go for it tiger!

If the answer is no, because you wouldn’t hire someone with that kind of attitude towards the goal, or who was scared of the goal, or scared of trying, or knows they have failed at this before and expect to fail again or…
You get the idea.

What needs to change within YOU in order for you to become the person you would definitely hire becvause you KNOW they will achieve the goal?

My best wishes, Paul
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On the roller coaster, you can’t always see what’s coming and that adds juice to life that makes it worth the squeeze.

And remember that even though you can’t see what’s coming, you CAN influence what turns up. One thing for sure is that the future will more likely bring what you think about, than what you don’t.

So start thinking and focussing on what you really want. I am sure you know enough by now to realise that this means thinking about what you DO want rather than what you don’t want.

So what are your dreams for the coming years?

What do you want to achieve?

What do you want to be doing?

How do you want to feel?

You don’t need to tell me your answers, but you do need to tell yourself.

I wish you success in realising your dreams and may health and happiness be your constant companions along the way.

From all of us at People Alchemy, our heartfelt very best to you for Christmas and the New Year.

Best wishes, Paul
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And that is making your people feel appreciated.

People who feel appreciated will look beyond their job description and go the extra mile. They will seek success for you, and them, on your joint endeavour.

So do something amazing today.

Catch someone doing something right, and tell them how good they are with as much energy and sincerity as if you had caught them doing something wrong.

Here are some more ideas on motivational feedback.

My best wishes, Paul

Have lunch at a different time, drive a different route, do your hair a different way, wear a different ‘uniform’. Spend some time with different people.

Do you want different things to turn up in your life, in your work?

Do you want different ideas to pop into your head?

If you are totally happy with the status quo, keep doing what you are doing. It’s working

However, if you want something different, you need to do something different. So start with the small things, even if the change seems to have no purpose. Notice what is easy to change, and what is not, and realise how this either limits or liberates you.

Read a different part of the newspaper, or don’t read it at all.
Watch different TV programmes, or don’t watch TV.
Drink a different beer, or don’t go to the pub.

This is one way to clear blockages to innovation. Here are some others.

My best wishes, Paul
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We need to continually remind ourselves that everyone filters what they hear based on their own past experiences and the mindset that has created these filters.

The only way you can determine how effectively you are communicating is by observing the response you get.

If you get a response that indicates that they did not understand, then your communication was faulty. A good communicator takes repsonsibility for their communication. You, therefore need to find a different way to get the message across.

Ask yourself… what is the concept/idea/fact they are missing that would unlock this communication for them?

Maybe you need to explain the obvious

My best wishes, Paul
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Our efficiency goes in cycles during the day. Our abilities change during the day.

When are you most creative?

When can you handle numbers most easily?

When are you best for physical work?

When are you best negotiating or meeting people?

When can you most easily catch up with a backlog of emails?

Manage your schedule to play to the strengths within your natural rythyms.

And since we mentioned emails and saving time, here is how to stay in control of your Inbox.

My best wihes, Paul
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The best one I know is to use your peripheral vision. Let me explain.

Peripheral vision is that area of vision that is outside the centre of the visual field. It is very good at detecting motion. We have all had the experience of catching something out of the corner of our eye.

Interestingly, when we set our attention exclusively on our peripheral vision, our state changes and we tend to get relaxed and quiet in our mind. We can make use of this.

Look ahead, and then broaden out your field of vision until you are paying attention to what you can see out of the corners of your eyes, while still looking straight ahead. It helps if you can position yourself so there is something moving at the edge of your vision, like trees.

Now imagine extending your awareness even further out, beyond the edges of your vision and all the way behind you. Notice what happens.

When you come back, notice how calm you feel and how your breathing has slowed down.

The good news is that if you practise this shift from foveal to peripheral vision a few times, you will be able to make the switch in a few seconds, giving you a tool to manage stress and change into a relaxed state.

For more information on how to do this easily, click here.

My best wishes, Paul
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